Knowing What You Feel
    Handling Negative Thoughts
    Building Self-Esteem
    Managing Stress
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Handling Negative Thoughts  

Recognizing Automatic Negative Thoughts

Adapted from Building Self-Esteem: A Self-Help Guide, a federal SAMHSA publication prepared by Mary Ellen Copeland, M.S., M.A.

You may have learned to think poorly of yourself when you were very young, from family members and caregivers, at school, from the media, and from prejudice and stigma in our society.

Once you have absorbed negative messages, it’s easy to repeat them over and over to yourself, especially when you’re having a hard time.

Some examples of common negative messages that people repeat over and over to themselves include:

"I am a jerk," "I am a loser," "I never do anything right," "No one would ever like me," I am a klutz."

Most people believe these messages, no matter how untrue or unreal they are. They come up immediately in the right circumstance, for instance if you get a wrong answer you think "I am so stupid." They may include words like should, ought, or must. The messages tend to imagine the worst in everything, especially you, and they are hard to turn off or unlearn.

You may think these thoughts or give yourself these negative messages so often that you are hardly aware of them. Pay attention to them. Carry a small pad with you as you go about your daily routine for several days and jot down negative thoughts about yourself whenever you notice them. It helps to take a closer look at your negative thought patterns to check out whether or not they are true.

Thinking Through Thoughts and Feelings

• Is it a Thought or a Feeling?
  Do you know the difference between a thought and a feeling? Take this quiz and find out. If you find you are confusing thoughts with feelings, you may want to learn more about negative messages and unhelpful thinking styles.

• Unhelpful Thinking Styles
  One way to debunk automatic negative thoughts is to debunk the logical flaws in our thinking patterns, sometimes called “cognitive distortions.” Do you recognize any of these 12 common thinking patterns that may be causing your stress?

• Before I Blame Myself and Feel Guilty
  Use this worksheet to help you sort through what’s really going on when you feel bad about yourself. Share it with your therapist or another trust adult.

• Mood Meter
  Rate your mood using the Mood Meter on the Teens Finding Hope website and find out what you can do to feel better.